


Belonging

by Autobratty



Series: Medic Hot Rod AU [2]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Cross-Faction Romance, Deadlock is a soft boi, Developing Relationship, M/M, Medic Hot Rod AU, Only for Roddy though, Secret Relationship, Starcrossed Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-11-18 23:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autobratty/pseuds/Autobratty
Summary: Deadlock and Hot Rod had been meeting in secret for some time now, finding comfort in each other’s arms.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _All day permanent red_  
>  _The glaze on my eyes_  
>  _I know you claim that you’re alright_  
>  _But fix your eyes on me_  
>  _I guess I’m all you have_  
>  _Don’t just slip away in the night_  
>  _Cuz’ even when there is no star in sight_  
>  _You’ll always be my only guiding light_  
>  (Mumford & Sons, “Guiding Light”)

Under the veil of night, Deadlock and Hot Rod had been meeting in secret for months now. The Autobots’ stronghold on the planet and protection of its inhabitants was unwavering, but the Decepticons had refused to abandon it. Deadlock had never particularly enjoyed being at a stalemate, but if it meant being able to sneak out and see the little hot rod, he didn’t mind so much.

Deadlock hadn’t anticipated… whatever it was that they had. The gorgeous medic had caught his eye, and it was purely physical, at first. When Hot Rod had saved his life, well. Then things became a little different. Any Autobot going out of their way to help a wounded Decepticon, risking their own life in the process, was someone… Deadlock was tempted to say special. He’d never had particularly high self worth, and anyone who saw anything in him worth taking care of was a bit of a weak spot. It gave him validation. Even if Hot Rod was’t absolutely _gorgeous_ , it’d have drawn Deadlock to him anyway, and returning the favor was the most natural thing in the world to him, even if it meant turning against one of his own.

Once he had Hot Rod pressed against his chest, feeling the smaller mech’s spark spinning in time with his own, Deadlock was a lost cause. When faced with needing to describe his feelings towards the Autobot, however, his processor couldn’t supply him with anything better than that he found Hot Rod “interesting”.

When Hot Rod said he found him “interesting” as well, and then had _kissed him_ , Deadlock about bowled over. Nobody broke his composure - nobody! - but one kiss from the Autobot medic, no matter how unexpected or seemingly out of the blue, had all but melted his spark. He knew it was dangerous: if he was caught, he’d have his commander to answer to, maybe even Megatron himself, and worst case scenario, the Decepticon Justice Division. Yet, his traitorous spark led him to the place they first kissed - now their designated meeting spot - night after night.

That first time, Hot Rod had kissed him like a starved mech, shocking Deadlock to his core. Obviously he’d been keeping a optic on the Decepticon as well and had taken quite a liking to him. With the intensity in which they kissed, Deadlock thought Hot Rod would try to take things to the next level, but he was surprised to find that the Autobot seemed perfectly happy to make out with him until sunrise and he had to go.

“Let’s do this again,” he purred, lips still lingering close to Deadlock’s and ocean-blue optics lidded with desire. His own ruby eyes smouldering with heat and shock, Deadlock could only nod a few times. Hot Rod had laughed and given him a parting kiss before disappearing into the forest as soft orange light began to filter down through the tall trees, leaving Deadlock still sitting there, wondering what had just happened.

\--

Deadlock and Hot Rod got to know each other better over the following months. Despite being on opposite sides of the war, they found it surprisingly easy to open up to one another. They discovered that both of them grew up on the streets, and Deadlock was shocked to learn that Megatron himself had tried to recruit Hot Rod.

“At first, I’d thought the Autobots were the enemy, too,” Hot Rod admitted. “But it turned out that they hadn’t realized the extent in which Zeta was pulling their strings, and once they broke free, they actually helped me. When I saw that Megatron was going to have Starscream “take care of them”, if you know what I mean, I knew that the Decepticons weren’t bringing about change in the right way. It took a bit of convincing, but eventually I became an Autobot myself.”

Deadlock frowned. “I joined at the very beginning,” he said. “Back when things were just beginning to get violent. I seem to have a knack for it.” He’d always thought that was a good quality, that it made him strong, but hearing himself say it aloud, it didn’t sound like something to be proud of. “Megatron singled me out, too. I was on my own at the time, just drifting without direction. I… like to feel like I’m part of something. Feel needed. I need something or someone to dedicate myself to, to feel grounded.” Deadlock ducked his head, embarrassed by his admission.

Hot Rod placed a hand over Deadlock’s, causing the Decepticon to look up. “Me too,” he said softly. Deadlock gave him a wobbly smile, and Hot Rod leaned forward to gently kiss the tentative grin. It didn’t take long for Deadlock’s frame to relax and lean into the kiss.

He’d underestimated just how much Hot Rod understood the need to belong. On multiple occasions, Deadlock had tried to persuade him to switch sides, but Hot Rod insisted that he was happy with the Autobots, that he had friends, that he believed in the cause. Deep down, Deadlock knew Hot Rod could never be a true Decepticon, but there was still a loneliness swirling like a whirlpool in the Autobot’s ocean eyes.

Deadlock could relate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You're used to winning, how did it feel?_  
>  _Did you hear the screaming? It was unreal_  
>  _What did they pay you? What did it cost?_  
>  _How long did it take you to know that you lost?_  
>  (The Killers, “Tyson vs Douglas”)

One night, they’d just been sitting and talking, staring at the waterfall they met by, watching as the water cascaded down the rocks. It was a cool, quiet night, the moons high overhead, basking their little clearing in milky light.

The Autobots had discovered the Decepticons’ base and were planning an ambush the following night, and Hot Rod was hard pressed to not tell Deadlock. It was an unspoken rule between them to not disclose any information about their factions, but Hot Rod didn’t want Deadlock to end up getting hurt. So, he decided to do the next best thing.

Leaned back into Deadlock’s embrace, the Decepticon’s arms wrapped around his middle, Hot Rod suddenly said, “You should become an Autobot.”

He could feel the darker mech tense up. “What?” His voice sounded a little strained and glitchy.

Hot Rod looked down at Deadlock’s hands, placing his own smaller ones on top. “If you became an Autobot,” he began softly, tentatively, “we could be together, always. I mean - I don’t know if that’s what you want, and it’s okay if it’s not!” he added hastily. “But I… I want this to be more than us sneaking out in the middle of the night, hiding from the world.”

When Deadlock shifted, Hot Rod expected that he’d pull away; instead, the Decepticon tightened his grip around the smaller mech, and pressed his face into the crook of Hot Rod’s neck. “You know I can’t do that,” he rumbled, his voice unconvinced by the words and his field wrought with regret.

“But… you _do know_ that the Decepticons are doing the _opposite_ of moving towards peace, right?” Hot Rod asked, twisting to look at Deadlock’s face. "I don't need to tell you that many 'cons kill just for the fun of it, and derive genuine pleasure from watching others perish by whatever torture they can conjure."

Deadlock wouldn’t, couldn't meet the hot rod’s gaze. Instead, he looked down at his hands, knowing that although they were washed, they'd be forever bloodstained. “I know,” he responded quietly.

“Then why stay with them?”

Deadlock didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure himself.

“C’mon, Lock,” Hot Rod practically begged. His field bombarded the Decepticon with desperation and longing so potent that Deadlock nearly choked on his emotions. “I want to be more than someone you sneak out to steal kisses from in the middle of the night. I want… I want to be with you.”

The Decepticon’s head jerked up, optics cycled so wide that Hot Rod thought they might pop out of his head. “I… you…”

Hot Rod managed a wry smile. “Not me. Not you. _Us_.”

With those five words, Hot Rod did what no one had ever done to Deadlock before: made him tremble.

He shook in the Autobots arms. He was loyal, loyal to the Decepticon cause, but he wanted nothing more than to be with the mech he held so close. Choking back a sob, he buried his face into Hot Rod’s neck. After a few moments of just breathing his scent in, listening to the rush of energon through his lines, Deadlock kissed the soft cables of Hot Rod’s neck. When he pulled away, his lips only a breath away, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Before Hot Rod could utter a reply, Deadlock had swiftly untangled them and disappeared into the woods.

“Deadlock!” Hot Rod scrambled to his feet, rushing off into the woods, trying to catch a glimpse of the Decepticon, but the stealthy warrior left no trace.

Hot Rod suddenly wished he’d told Deadlock about the ambush. Now, all he could do was pray that Deadlock wouldn’t get caught in the fray.

He took a deep breath and turned around, heading towards the Autobot base. Deadlock was more than a capable warrior. He didn’t need Hot Rod. He’d be fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I think that we both know the way the story ends_  
>  _Then only for a minute_  
>  _I want to change my mind_  
>  _'Cause this just don't feel right to me_  
>  _I want to raise your spirits_  
>  _I want to see you smile but_  
>  _Know that means I'll have to leave_  
>  (Marshmello ft. Bastille, “Happier”)

Deadlock knew that it would be for the best if he ended things with Hot Rod. He’d be better off with some Autobot, somebody with a strict moral code and clean plating and open arms that could hold Hot Rod every night without worry of being caught. He was a coward who couldn’t even bring himself to say the words; he could only utter a brief apology before disappearing into the night.

The following day, he just went through the motions: practice drills, weapons training, meals, sparring matches, battle planning, etc., etc. Anything to distract him and keep Hot Rod off his mind. He and the Autobot were from completely different worlds. When it was just them, well, that was one thing, but on the battlefield, they couldn’t show each other special treatment, and for all they knew they were shooting down each other’s friends. As long as the war went on, they could never be together. And yet, he couldn’t rid his mouth of the taste of Hot Rod’s lips, couldn’t forget how warm the Autobot was as he’d held him in his arms, filling ever dark recess of Deadlock’s frame with light. He just pushed himself harder in training, hoping that the strain on his systems would drag his processor away from the bright smile occupying his mind’s eye.

He would never admit it, but Deadlock was unsure what things would be like if the Decepticons won at this point. Sure, they’d practically rule the universe, but the vision in his mind didn’t seem like a world _anyone_ could settle down with a partner and have a simple, happy life. The realization shook Deadlock to his core with something that hadn’t crossed his mind until then: the world they were fighting for would not be one of peace achieved through tyranny. It would be just that - tyrannical - with Megatron, the Ultimate Tyrant, ruling over them all.

Becoming an Autobot _really_ wasn’t anything Deadlock was interested in, but being a Decepticon was becoming less and less appealing, even more so when, at sunset, a bomb was dropped in the middle of the base.

Fortunately, Deadlock had been in his quarters, exhausted from over-exerting himself in training. The barracks were on the fringes of the base, far from the command center. It didn’t take long for the fire to spread, licking up walls as sirens wailed. Fury and distress rose among the ranks as Decepticons swarmed through the corridors, grabbing weapons and heading to their battle stations, the medics heading towards the bomb crash site to search for survivors. The air was thick with smoke and ash, clogging Deadlock’s intakes as he rushed through the base alongside the other foot soldiers. He heard someone should something about the Autobot army storming the base.

_An Autobot ambush. Why didn’t he tell me?_ Deadlock thought as he pushed through the crowd. A tiny, bitter voice inside him whispered, _“He was worried you’d snitch to your superiors. He knows that you don’t harbor any feelings of mercy toward any Autobot but him. He doesn’t trust you to keep a secret.”_ Deadlock shook his head, trying to rid his processor of the nagging voice. It was not the time for doubt. 

Once he’d finally made it outside, he came to a halt as an idea suddenly popped into his mind. If there was ever a time to sneak away, it was now, in the midst of the chaos. Deadlock knew that if he deserted there would be no going back, and he _wanted_ to fight for a better future for Cybertron, but knew that with the path the Decepticons had turned down, they weren’t fighting for such a thing anymore. They killed, conquered, and took what they wanted, even amongst each other. He’d have to consider joining the Autobots if he still wanted to fight for that and, regrettably, he’d have to make a decision, _fast._

Deadlock was good at making split-second decisions. The problem was that he wasn’t nearly as proficient at making the best choice.

Losing himself in the fray, Deadlock slipped away unnoticed. He’d always been a loyal soldier and never one to back down from a fight, but Hot Rod had really made him think and he just… couldn’t do it anymore. He hadn’t joined the Decepticons to conquer anything, to rule, to kill. Somewhere along the way he’d forgotten that. He’d just needed a reminder, in the form of a small fire-colored Autobot.

He skidded to a halt. “ _Roddy,_ ” he gasped under his breath. He doubted that Hot Rod would want to run away with him - he clearly enjoyed being an Autobot - but Deadlock needed to at least make sure the little medic would be alright. Hopefully he hadn’t been injured while Deadlock was running like a coward.

The Decepticon turned around and sprinted back towards the battle.

**Author's Note:**

> WELL people liked the first part so much that I decided to make it a series. Your kudos and comments are what drive this AU so make sure to support if you enjoy!


End file.
